Well, my baby, my first born, is 18 today. I have tried all year to gear up for this and not freak out, did not happen. It is like the end of an ere or something. It is silly really because it is not like Auberne` is any different today then yesterday, nor is our relationship. She is still the most kind, generous, creative, loving sweetie she was before. I suppose my freaking out is more about me then my sweet girl (for she will always be my sweet girl)
I try to be positive and only talk about happy things on my blog. You do not want to read my grips, but I really want to take a minute and recognize what a miracle it is we are celebrating Auberne`s birthday. Auberne` was born with a heart defect. She had open-heart surgery at five months. I will spare you the details of her seizures, how I had to breast-feed her every 45 minutes around the clock, how it is hand your baby over to a surgery nurse, to have a doctor look you in the eye and tell you your daughter's heart can just up and give out.
I have been thinking of this and all the challenges that Auberne` will be facing the rest of her life (she will need more surgeries and so forth). There is one memory that for some reason really stands out. It was a month before Auberne`s surgery. I do not know why, but in my weird little brain, I could not handle the idea of my baby dying and never tasting chocolate. Being the true foodie I am, it seemed like the biggest tragedy and I could not handle her going to heaven and missing out. I felt like I was some bad mother if I let this happen. Now, I did not think about how a four month old could have a reaction to chocolate and that could kill her ;-o
No, I was on a mission, to be a good and loving mother. Of course my daughter would have to have the best chocolate I could get. In Los Gatos, was Cocolat. You can not get much better then Alice Medrich.
So stroller in hand, I took Auberne' for her chocolate experience. I decide on a three chocolate mouse cake (one dark layer, one milk layer, one white layer). It was soft and she could taste all three chocolates. I will ALWAY remember picking out the right dessert, her sitting in her stroller, me spooning her little amounts of mousse. Which by the way, she loved. I was smart enough to just give her a small amount. Enough for her to have had a taste and then safely go to heaven.
I did noticed how the two women who worked there we giving me very disproving looks. So I decided to just be honest and I told them the whole thing. Of course they were kind, gave me hugs and would pray for Auberne`.
There have been numerous times in my daughters life, when I did not know if she would see 18. If I would be able to cook her a yummy meal, give her hug and tell her how much I love her. I am happy to say, I am able to do that today. Today is monumental day, full of thankfulness, hope, dreams and love.
So happy 18th Auberne`. This is just the beginning of amazing, wonderful things for you. Love mom