Heartfelt Thoughts From A Mother To Her Daughters

Girl Interrupted or How Can One Be on Both Sides of the Road?

 

Well I cannot tell you how happy I am to see October here. This past month, well ... summer has been a very hard one for me. And September was the tough cherry on the tough cupcake of these past couple of months. I have, as all mothers do, struggled with meeting my family's needs and my own needs at the same time. I find my creativity comes to a halt, when I am stressed and running around a lot. The conundrum is my family needs me and I need to create. The two do not always mesh. Since I have discovered I like to write :-) I am finding myself, expressing what is in my heart through writing more and more. I thought I would share this little piece I wrote about the past few months. I am sure many of you know exactly how I feel but if you are like me, it is nice to know I am not the only mother who struggles!!

Girl Interrupted or How Can One Be on Both Sides of the Road?

I am standing in the middle of a long, winding road. The sun is shining down on me but there is a crisp breeze, that whips my skirt around my legs. On one side of the dirt road is my family, my heart! They are calling me, pulling me to them. They are hurt, in need and are looking to me for help. Which is my job and what I want them to do but on the other side of the road is a girl, who very much looks like me. She is calling to me, needing me, asking me to not forget her. I stand there arms outstretched, leaning, looking to one side of the road, only to look and lean to the other side of the road. I am torn, both sides need me and I need both sides. But how can one be on both sides of the road?

I am the heartbeat of my family and they take their cues from me. In times of trouble, they look to me to sooth their wounds, to make the sun shine on black days, to set the beat of our home. This is my job and one I gladly accept. Except, I need that girl on the other side of the road to do my job. She helps me be me, to find the energy, creativity and grace I need to do my job. So I run to one side of the road helping my family, caring for their wounds, diligently loving them until I am empty. Then I run across the road, to the girl and we sit, resting. We chat about inconsequential things like does my plaid jacket really go with my flora skirt. I braid her hair and she shares her chocolate with me. I am refreshed and run back across to my family, ready to cheer and love them on in their struggles and success. And so it goes, one side of the road, to the other side.

I feel like a girl interrupted! Torn in half! Part of me is on one side of the road and the other part, on the other side. I run back and forth, fourth and back, until I stop in the middle and drop. I cannot keep up this pace. I look to God and ask, "Help me please. Help me be all I need to be for others but myself too!" The breeze gently dies, the sun brightens a bit more and a whisper fills my ear, "Bring them together. Bring them in the middle of the road with you". Together, I think? How? Again that whisper, "One step at a time." I reach my hand out to my family and beckoning them to stand in the middle of the road with me. Then I reach my hand out to the girl on the other side of the road and she steps forward, taking my hand. I am still unsuure how to move forward but we start to stroll down the winding road, one step at a time!

 

Frugality is Not a Killjoy

“By sowing frugality, we reap liberty, a golden harvest” ~Agesilaus

 

I love this saying! I have it written on my chalkboard, which came from the old school house down the road. When I was young though, I hated the word frugality. To me it meant NO fun, no adventures, no joy! I thought frugality was just about the things you lose. It was all about self-denial and I will be the first one to say, I am not good at self-denial.

I was pretty pampered as a girl. Life was about more and I liked it that way. Instant gratification worked for me ;- ) Well until it did not but I am getting ahead of myself. Life was always one expensive adventure after another. I will be honest and say it was fun. I loved seeing new places, trying new restaurants, buying new outfits. But the thing is I had all this fun because I have a father who worked hard to buy those things and I did not appreciate that fact. My father was a workaholic and I took it for granted how hard he worked. Plus my father likes to shop, dine and travel even more than I do. The interesting detail is when I wanted to get married I did not want to marry a man like my father, who lived for making money. I love my father but I could see how lacking the other areas of his life were.

 

“I sometimes wonder whether all pleasures are not substitutes for joy.” C S Lewis

 

Well one day my knight in shining armor came galloping in (who scrubbed my coffee pots at work, so I did not have to, without even being asked. Now if there is ever a way to win a girls heart, especially a pampered girl like me, that was it!). He did not live for making money. He is hard worker but is much more interested in his family, his life, his wife and children. This means he was never going to make the kind of income my father made

I was torn in half; I wanted to be a fulltime homemaker. I loved the challenge of making the most around me. Like our first Christmas, when I decorated the house with the pine boughs from outside with gold painted stars. BUT I also love Paris and the thick hot chocolate I had that could barely be poured. Sadly I could not have both. I was going to have to choose, I was going to have to be frugal. Well if I was going to have to be something, I would have to find the fun in it. I had to embrace frugality and as I did, I started see what it added to my life. I was wrong as a girl, frugality was not a killjoy, it was a liberator. Now it can be a killjoy but anything can be. It is all how you use it. Before embracing frugality I struggled with:

• Depression (Depression, from all the things I wanted and could not afford.)
• Worry (Worry, from the money I spent on things, I should not have.)
• An unhappy marriage (Unhappy, because of the fights with hubby over the money I used.)
• Disregard (Because when you just buy something and never make something with your own two hands, you do not understand and appreciate all the work that goes into it. I will never take a loaf of bread for granted after trying to hand grind wheat!)
• Un-creativity (Well actually I was pretty creative when I had money BUT I was way more creative when I did/do not.)

 

“Joy is not in things, it is in us.” Richard Wagner

 

This opened up a whole new world to me. Not having money forces you to think out of the box. Make the most of what you have. See things in a new light and you know what? It is fun! I have made candles, picked grass for salad (well dandelions), shoveled goat manure for a raspberry patch so I could make yummy, homemade ice cream, cut up an old flannel nightgown to make a pretty rose covered petticoat, scented baking soda for homemade cleaners and a zillion more things. I am so much better for it. I do things with more thought and care now. I see the world around me in more detail and appreciate it. I admire and have a bond with others who create. I think the big thing is I am not so me, me anymore. I will not say I am not that way at all because we all know that’s not true ;- ) But I have learned that more things do not equal more happiness. Actually less things, means I love the things I have more. I am not looking for the world to fill me up; I am busy filling myself up.

Also being frugal does not mean we have to think small. Making frugal choices, does not mean the choice has to be frugal. I am all for making your dreams come true. It just means you do not run off with every whim. Especially if you are like me and have expensive whims. No, it means thinking long and hard before deciding what is really important to you. It might be some over-the-top thing like hundreds of paper butterflies tacked to a hall (which I was considering). But by being frugal it will also mean saying no to a lot of other, less important things. Frugally is not about loss, it is about making choices, owning those choices and being better for them. And that my dears, adds to one’s life, not takes away!!

 

“I was wrong as a girl, frugality was not a killjoy, it was a liberator.” Me

 

My Job Is To Sprinkle Glitter On The Reindeer Oats!

    I know you girls know this story already (since I have been kvetching about it) but it keeps bugging me. Your father was on his yearly elk hunting trip with his buddies. They are all enjoying stew or was it chili, maybe cookies, anyways one of the guy’s wife made it. All of these men’s wives work. I am the ONLY stay at home wife. As they ate and chatted, this came up. See I do not make food for your dad to take with him. It is not that I am opposed to making food; it is just that he has never asked me to. To be honest I never even thought about making anything, his hunting trips are sort of his thing.

 

    Well these gentlemen, one in particular, intimated that I am home all day, what the heck am I doing? Their wives all work and cook for them (probably grocery shopped for them too), so what was my excuse? It is not like I have a real job. Of course this has needled at me. It is hard that society does not think much of homemaking, that something only has real value unless it earns cash.

 

    So what is my job? My job is to make you unique breakfast-in-bed on your birthday, my job is to hide your Easter basket (for the Easter Bunny of course) filled with really good dark chocolate (no junk), my job is to keep the freezer full of four different types of whole grain muffins (akk, I need to work on that), my job is to sprinkle glitter over the reindeer food on Christmas Eve after they ate it, my job is to love you to death (really to death because I will probably be the death of you!!). My job is priceless and nobody could afford me anyways. Remember to do what you love. Let that love bless other whether it makes money or not. You are priceless and so is what you do xoxo

Now Go Take Some Cough Syrup and Go To Bed

Well as I write this post, you two girls were up most of the night coughing. Luckily I remember I had some natural honey cough syrup and that seems to help. I had a bad stomach flu that was gone and now it seems to be coming back. Plus we have out-of-town company coming today. So why would I write a post about this?

 

Because you know your mother and when she gets thinking. I spent the middle of the night thinking about when you are grown and gone, with your own home and responsibilities and you are struggling with being sick. I want you to know thank it is okay, no, it is good for you to rest. To only do what you have to do. Let go off all should‘s, let go of all guilt, let go of all obligations that are not totally necessary at the moment.

 

We live in a world where everyone seems to go, go. Never stopping, never resting and from what I can see, getting sick a lot. When you get sick, your body is telling you something. Remember stress is the biggest factor in getting sick. So if you do not feel good, listen to it. Do what feels right. If a big cup of warm tea sounds about right or not eating, but only having fruit smoothies (like how I feel right now) listen, do it.

 

Actually this advice really works for emotion distress as well. We all have times where we feel vulnerable, sensitive, nothing to give. It is important to listen to that, to pull away and recharge. Even a half an hour walk or bath can do the trick. Now I do not mean the kind of pulling away where you wallow in your sorrows. That does nobody and mostly you, no good. Taking time for yourself, to be alone, should be with the goal of feeling whole again, so you can give to those you love better.

 

Taking care of yourself is a way of loving those around you because you cannot fully give, if you are not well. Plus who knows you better then you do? You know yourself the best and quite frankly are the one most invested in your own well being. So you listen to your body, do what you feel you need to do. Rest, take the time to find out what you need and mostly do NOT feel guilty about it. Do not let others guilt you. True friends will respect you and give you the space you need, just like you would do the same for them. So that is what is running around in your mothers head last night (now go sit on the potty, inside joke, for you Tim Hawkins fans) xoxoxoxo

 

 

The BEST Consolation Prize

And behold, there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon, and this man was just and devout, waiting for the Consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him.

And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ. So he came by the Spirit into the temple. And when the parents brought in the Child Jesus, to do for Him according to the custom of the law, he took Him up in his arms and blessed God and said:

“Lord, now You are letting Your servant depart in peace, according to Your word;

For my eyes have seen Your salvation

Which You have prepared before the face of all peoples,

A light to bring revelation to the Gentiles

And the glory of Your people Israel”

Luke 2:25-32

Christ has been born, it is now time for His dedication in the temple as was customary. Simeon, a godly man was anxiously awaiting the Savior, the Consolation of Israel…

Jesus Christ

Our Consolation as well.  Notice that the letter “C” in the word Consolation is capitalized? That is because it is a name. A name for Jesus Christ. Anyone can console, but only One is Consolation.

When studying the definition in Webster’s 1828 dictionary here is what I found:

Consolation:

~ Comfort

~Alleviation of misery

~Alleviation of distress of mind

~Refreshment of mind and spirits

~A comparative degree of happiness in distress or misfortune springing from any circumstances that abates or beats down evil

Let’s put  “Jesus is…” before each definition. Wow! Jesus is even more than we thought!

~So, how can we have that Consolation?

If we look at Simeon as an example, here is what we find:

He was just

He was devout

The Holy Spirit was upon him

The Holy Spirit revealed truths to Him

He was willing to be led by the Holy Spirit

What a wonderful example of obedience and surrendering our will for Him!

When I first read “Came by the Holy Spirit” the picture that stood out in my mind was the Holy Spirit holding our hand and guiding us. If we can just let go of our wants and desires and be in one accord with Him, how can we go wrong?

Now,

~How can we bring that comfort and Consolation to others?

Again, we can look to the example set by Simeon and also by….

Pressing toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:14

Ladies, if we continue to press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus we can show others how much they need Him and His love for them.

Often, this time of year when most are celebrating, there are those who have no one to celebrate with, those who have lost a loved one, those who are ill or in despair. Let’s be encouraged in our goal, in our walk with the Lord to be led by His Spirit to reach out to those who need Him oh so desperately. To give them the Consolation they need.

There is only one Consolation and that is Christ Jesus, our Lord and Savior, the Lover of our souls.

Our Prayer:

Oh Heavenly Father, You are more than gracious with us, loving us so much that You were willing to send Your Beautiful Son Jesus Christ to die for our sins. We thank You for the Indescribable Gift You have blessed us with. True Consolation. True Peace. True Love. Father we ask that You would speak to our hearts, that Your Holy Spirit would lead us in reaching those that do not yet know You. Father we ask that souls would be won for Your kingdom. We pray this in Your Precious Son Jesus’ Name…Amen!

 

 

This wonderful devotion is from Sharon, that you for letting me share it xoxoxoxo

 

Conviction Verses Shame

Conviction verses shame, I though I should write to you girls a little something about the subject. I mean what is the difference ? First let me say, I do not think shame comes from God. Both carry a heavy feeling in your stomach and heart. A feeling calling you to change, a feeling of repentance. But conviction to me has a joy to it, a feeling that “yes, now I see how wrong I was and now I can move forward, now I can do better“. Where shame is just that heavy feeling. There is never a release, it is all encompassing. I find when I feel shame, all the sudden nothing about me is good. All my past failures come back and haunt me. Things I have asked forgive for and moved forward, seem to pull me back, making me feel I have never changed. More importantly shame makes me feel I do not deserve forgiveness, I do not deserve change.

But this is a lie. Nobody is perfect, everyone struggles everyday to die to ones selfish self. But everyday also offers hope, change, growth, forgiveness is just around the corner. God tell us in His word

Romans 14:22

The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.

and

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

and

1 Corinthians 4: 14-16

I am not writing these things to shame you, but to warn you as my beloved children. For even if you had ten thousand others to teach you about Christ, you have only one spiritual father. For I became your father in Christ Jesus when I preached the Good News to you. So I urge you to imitate me.

Yes, there is conviction, guilt, consequence for our actions when we sin. But the only thing holding us back, is ourselves. Forgiveness, redemption, growth, freedom, it always right there. It is God grace and gift to us, all we have to do is ask. So remember when you have repented and asked Gods forgiveness, it is done. Do not look back xoxoxox

Psalm 103:12

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us

Gentle Kindness And Tender Mercies

 

I want to thank dear Tracey, for letting me share her post on my blog. I have all of Tracey's books and I remember when I first read this story and was soo touched by it. I read it to the girls this morning and they were touched by it too. Thank you so much Tracey for being so generous with all of us xoxo

 

 

 

Gentle Kindnesses and Tender Mercies

"I pray Heaven to bestow the best of blessing on this house...."
--John Adams

I once heard a story about an immigrant family who, after arriving in this country, owned virtually nothing but the clothes on their backs. They were living in a tiny shack that had stood empty for years. When a group of charity workers came by with food for this family, they were startled by what they found inside the shack.

The first thing they noticed when the door was opened to them was the old wooden floor--it was scrubbed clean and gleaming from a wood wax. The smell of apples and cinnamon wafted through the air from a simmering pot set upon a circle of coals on the hearth. A gentle fire crackled in the river-rock fireplace.

A large round table, in the center of the one room, was covered with a floor-length cloth of dark-green-and-white-checked gingham. (They later discovered the table was an over sized spool discarded by a cable company.) The windows were clean and framed by simple curtains, made from the same green-and-white-check fabric as the tablecloth. They hung, not from metal rods, but from thin branches of a willow tree.


"....let us face the tasks of living with joy and embellish ordinary days with comfort, beauty, and a renewed faith in the fact that the most precious things in this life are those things that no amount of money can buy."


The most amazing thing of all was an evergreen garland that graced the chipped plaster walls. It was composed of ordinary items from the local woods. Boughs of evergreen and pine cones were tied onto a length of heavy twine with torn strips of the same gingham fabric. it was looped into swags and hung just under the ceiling. It looked for all the world like an expensive wallpaper border. The ladies from the aid society were asked to sit down on what looked like a small backless sofa with bright red cushions. In truth, it was a series of wooden fruit crates, draped in a loosely fitted slipcover made of the same green-and-white gingham. The lady of the house graciously offered a drink of fresh water to her visitors, while thanking them for their generous gifts to her family.

Perhaps this is an extreme example, yet it beautifully illustrates the philosophy of frugal luxuries. With this attitude in mind, let us face the tasks of living with joy and embellish ordinary days with comfort, beauty, and a renewed faith in the fact that the most precious things in this life are those things that no amount of money can buy.


Excerpt Above From: Frugal Luxuries: Simple Pleasures to Enhance Your Life and Comfort Your Soul, by Tracey McBride, 1996
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Life Does Not Take A Vacation

With school starting up again, I thought I should write a little something about learning. Even though we school year around, the fall it is always a much more structured time. I have always thought that you girls should own your education. It was my job to facilitate, to teach you how to learn and feed your interests. But it is not my job to spoon feed you, your education.

When you were very little I would just encourage you in every thing you were interested in and you were interested in everything. Every rock, leaf, book, cookie. We would go on nature walks almost every day and you were fascinated by everything. Then when you got bigger I taught you how to learn. How to find the information you wanted, how to read, how to try different approaches, how to play. But then there came a time when I had to start to back away. Let you spread your wings, to take all that you had learn and find your own way to learn. I was still there if you struggled, but I handed you your education.

I have to say I am quite happy with how proactive you are in learning. You do not wait for someone to tell you, if you want or need to know something, you go and find it. You are very good at using the resources around you to get the answers you need, to find the help you need. This is what I have always wanted for you and hope you carry this with you all your life. For learning never ends, you never get too old for it. I want you to be so interested in your life, that you are always searching for more.

By the way if you wonder why we school year around ?It is because learning is life. Life does not take a vacation, every moment it a chance to learn xoxoxo

Tasha Tudor Day, 2009

  " Love is not confined to Valentines day in our family or among our friends. There are many occasions all through out the year to tell people that you love and appreciate them" Tasha Tudor from All For Love

These are our sketches (me, Auberne` and Chloe) from Tasha Tudor books we did on Tasha Tudor day. It was a lovely celebration xoxoxo

A Different Kind Of Woman

"The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, But the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman." ~ Elisabeth Elliot

 

Remember Auberne` and Chloe, it is your walk with God that defines and strengthens you. It is were you can become the wonderful woman you were always ment to be. Thank you Michele for the quote xoxo

Be True To Yourself

Hello girls, well since you are MY daughters, I am assuming you will never do things the logical way, the practical way ;-P

So I want to encourage you to listen to your gut and trust your instinct, that is why they are there. Remember God has a plan and He planned you just the way you. Every hair, every strength, every weakness, is planned. And He does not make mistakes.

But it is hard to be yourself, especially if yourself is not like those around you. There is this inherent pressure to conform, to fit in, to compromise. Whenever I let other pressure me into doing things “the practical” way, it never worked for me. I had to learn that I have my own way of going about things and I needed to embrace that. For example when I was young, I loved to sew. I even took a tailoring class and made a wool jacket with vented pockets, but I still struggle to sew a straight line. Now some would say I should not take a tailoring class till I mastered more the basic skills of sewing. But for me, it is in doing those more complicated projects, I am learning to sew a straight line. It works for me, it probably would not for others. But I am not others. By the way, I have to say the jacket turned out really beautiful and straight !!!!

So do not let others, including your mother, push you into go against what feels right. You need to try things, make mistakes, play, find your rhythm, be true to yourself. So next time I push you, you can remind me of this post, although it does not mean you will get out of doing chores xoxox

Welcome

Welcome to my new blog, this is a letter to my two daughters Auberne` (18) and Chloe (13). I have been thinking lately what wisdom, advice, encouragement would I want to share with them. I am sure some of what I will write I have already said but it is lovely to have something concrete, something written down. So I decided to make a blog of it all. At first I considered making it private but thought maybe some of my readers from Storybook Woods might be encouraged.

I will say this blog will be different from Storybook Woods. It is very personal, it is letter from my heart. Not everyone may agree with I write, but I can not speak for everyone. My posting will be irregular, only when I have something to say. I will talk much more here about my walk with the Lord, something I do not really share at Storybook Woods. You will also notice there are no pretty pictures, at lest not at this point. I do not want the pressure of that. I just want to focus on words, which do not come easy for me. 

So welcome to my new blog but please understand this blog is just heartfelt thoughts from a mother to her daughters xoxoxo