Walking My Days With My Daughters

Happy Mothers Day, to all you amazing mothers. I thought I would post an article I wrote around 3 years ago, just before I start my blog. I hope it encourages you, especially any young mothers who might be reading this xoxox

   "I am having a lovely chat with a dear friend who has been my mentor for years, when Chloe (she was 9 at the time) comes in with tears in her eyes. I ask her what is wrong and all I get is a shaking head and more tears. Needless to say, I say goodbye to my friend and Chloe has a good cry. After all we all need a good cry now and then !!

When I figure out there is nothing seriously wrong with Chloe, I try to cheer her up with games and fun ideas, but to no avail. Finally the suggestion of baking cookies, makes her smile. We make hazelnut espresso cookies, our fav. (One day I will share my secret recipe)

Chloe cheerfully puts on an pinny, some Mozart music and seems happy as a lark. While we are baking, she tells me she love to bake and want to learn more. Which thrills me to no end and I am happy to see the smile on her face.

After the cookies are cooling she suggests we both clean the sinks (she can not be my daughter ;-). She informs me she will clean the bathroom sink and I can clean the kitchen sink. With baking soda in hand and our fragrance of choice. Lavender oil for Chloe and lemon oil for me, we set off scrubbing. Chloe takes her time. I can hear her humming, I am humming, all is happy."

It does sound like a bit of a fairytale and I am such a romantic. But it is all true, I promise.

I was thinking of why Chloe asked for us to clean the sinks (I know why she asked to bake cookies). I remember when she and her sister were very little, they would follow me everywhere. They were my shadows and still can be. They wanted to do everything I was doing. I did not push them, I let them choose what and when they wanted to do something. I tried to be leisurely and light about it all. I did not worry if something was done wrong. I could come along and rewipe down a counter, I could live with wrinkled laundry. I could be patient enough to do something in a half an hour, when on my own it would only take 15 minutes. The reason why was I was making a garden.  A garden in my girls that I would one day harvest for me and them.

I can not encourage you enough to gladly bring your little ones along side you. This is where the heart of a home begins. Really it is a win/win situation. They are busily, happily, "playing" house next to you. They know you love them and are willing to set aside your time to be with them. They will associate all these happy memories down the road with the work of life. They will be use to working with you and slowly, be able to do more and more.

But more then that, they will be use to being with you. Trusting you, look to you in their time of need. This is why I think Chloe wanted to clean sinks that day. She felt a security working along side with me. A place of safety.

Now I want this to be a truthful fairytale and when my girls were young I was an awful homemaker (and I still struggle, you all know how I HATE cleaning). I did not know what I was doing, I was so in over my head. If the house was still standing at the end of the day, I considered it a miracle. The idea of having my girls along side me, adding to my workload, did NOT appeal to me at all. But after looking to women who were where I wanted to be (something my mother taught me, thank you mom xoxox) I could see I was focusing on the wrong thing. I was focusing only on the moment. So I started in small steps. Little, by little.

I learned right alongside my daughters. I did not let fears of "how can I teach my daughters, when I do not know myself" hold me back. I just started small, and slow, and in time I realized one day that the kitchen, bathroom and living room were pretty clean. From that point on I knew I had grown a bit and did not worry anymore.

I want to say if your children are older, do not feel it is too late. It is never too late, if something is done in love. I believe if I have faith in the Lord, love my children with His unconditional love and allow God to work in my heart, my children's hearts will be soften and changed. When my girls are misbehaving, I tend to look at me and what am I doing. Because I have found usually it starts with me. I am the one in a bad mood, am having unrealistic expectation and no patients. I find it is amazing what love, time and dieing to ones expectations can do.

Being a mother for me, has been about stretching me, dieing to my self-centerness (although I will always have a little diva in me ;) and becoming a better person. I never want to go back to who I was before. I think all this has made my girls better to.

So I encourage you to play, bring your children along side you, look at the big picture, not get mired in the day to day stuff. Yes, today you may not get your bed made and dinner might be scary but I promise down the road you will have a garden that will bless you soo much more (and you will have a yummy meal and your bed made) xoxox

Comments

[sweet cottage dreams]

Clarice, I just loved this post and story of your daughters. How so sweet that your daughter wanted to bake with you and to clean your sinks. See, it is the small things in life that they will have etched in their minds and take with them forever. I do believe how we are to our children matters. You are such a wonderful mother!!!!

I hope you had a lovely, lovely Mother's Day. So glad that you got to use your little treat with your special mom.

xoxo
Becky

[Gumbo Lily]

That was a fine "real life" fairytale. Thank you for sharing it with us. Happy Mother's Day.

Jody

[Deb]

Beautiful wisdom Clarice! These thoughts have been so close to my heart lately, especially dying to self. Life is a journey, isn't it...we are always learning and growing.
Your girls are very blessed to have you!
Deb

[Junie Moon]

You are a wonderful mother and your girls are learning so much, not only the cleaning, cooking, and so on, but the important life skills they need that include knowing they are loved and feeling the security of that love.

[Ali]

Well said Clarice! I hope you had a lovely Mother's Day.

Ali

[Mica]

Delightful !!!! thanks for the sweet story.

Hugs, Mica.... P.S Got the Walmart shoes for me & my daughter to match and would love to do what you did to embellish them... Hugs, Mica

[Sharon D.]

What a beautiful post Clarice and a beautiful photo :) I love how you cherish your girls and how you raise them. What a sweet time :) Happy belated Mother's Day!

[Jill]

Clarice,

Loved this touching post and how you portrayed it so gracefully and beautifully.

Patrick was always along my side,although painfully shy and hid behind my leg most of the time.

[Cheryl]

What a lovely post!

[Lena]

I've enjoyed this post too Clarice, and I think your daughters are lovely, and that you are a wonderful mom to them, in all the ways that matter most. I was a bit of a perfectionist before I had my son, with one of those houses that was always "ready for company". Having my son, had the affect of teaching me to let go of those tendencies, and I learned that creatitivity is really messy sometimes. It is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I think it is important to have a balance with all things in life, and to continue to grow as people. Certainly, we never stop growing as mothers.

Hope you are enjoying this lovely day. I think, we're suppose to have more rain again, but it's sure nice out right now.

xo

[christy]

Clarice, so beautifully said. When the roses are blooming we still need to get together and watch the Avonlea series with the girls. Love you, Christy

[Louise]

What a lovely and thoughtful post ..
I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day with your beautiful daughters.

I spent my day in a perfect way surrounded by the people that I love the most..

Louise

[the pleasures of homemaking]

Thank you for a lovely post Clarice. Hope you had a nice relaxing Mother's Day!

Manuela

[Angie]

This article is a perfect example of why I love you, Clarice. Yes, you are a bit of a diva (which is NOT necessarily a bad thing) but you have such wonderful perspective and tend always to see the big picture. Your girls are lovely and your home is peaceful and loving. Who could ask for more than that? Happy Mother's Day xxoxo

[Dianntha]

What you say is so true....Hapyy Mothers day to you. Dianntha

[Sarah]

Hapde Mudder's Day Clarice.

I've long believed it is foolish to try and do all the work around the house by yourself, or worse, after the kids have gone to bed. Don't get me wrong, I will occassionally do a big clean when Jack is sleeping because it goes faster. But he already knows how to "make his bed nice", help with the vaccuuming, put his dishes in the sink, clean the kitchen table etc. Children certainly find peace within routine.

[Paula]

Dear Clarice,

I love the photo of your beautiful girls, and I loved this wonderful article you wrote! Thank you so much for sharing it! Every word was such a blessing and encouragement to me. You are a wonderful mother!

I was especially blessed by you saying that when we do things in love, have faith in the Lord, love our children with His unconditional love, and allow Him to work in our hearts, that our children's hearts will be changed and softened, too. That is so very true and so wise! You are right, it is amazing what love, time and dying to one's expectations can do!

Thank you for sharing this! You are an amazing mom and your sweet girls are amazing, too!

Love you, Paula

[Susan]

Thanks for that wonderful post! A very happy Mother's Day to you!

[Elise]

I love this post so much Clarice. I know that sometimes when I am cross with my children it is usually because I am tired{not going to bed early enough} or because I want my "own" time. I love that you took the time to let your daughter/s help you and I like to do the same most of the time. In fact, I just got a book from Goodwill about God's Little Girl-a very cute book, verses taken from Proverbs. It is so true what you said and the book says. It is so important for them to help and to feel proud of themselves.
Happy Mother's Day!!
Elise

[Cathy Santarsiero]

What a lovely post, Clarice. Happy Mother's Day to you. Warmly, Cathy ^..^ xo xo

[Nadine]

Thank you for sharing - Have a wonderful Mother's Day!!!

[Rosemary]

What a great and lovely post.
How great is that for your girls, and you too of course. You are so right. I hope more people do what you did with your girls.
They grew up to be lovely young women.
Have a wonderful Mother's Day!
Rosemary